Well, whether or not I've posted it here, it has been mentioned elsewhere that I will be moving the coming weekend, and besides the various pieces of school-work I have to cut my teeth on this week, that means that I will be running around the house like the proverbial chicken, which is suiting the oncoming of my Mania just fine.

I have to admit, despite how often we seem to move, every time it feels a little surreal. We sold a lot of things since the new apartment is smaller than this house, so there are a lot of things I've been seeing since Terrace that I won't ever see again. Most of my stuff is coming, though, and even the stuff I'm trying to sell hasn't sold. I've consolidated my wardrobe in light of the move and removed a lot of items I never wear, to send to goodwill. I've also trashed a lot of stuff and packed a lot of things already, mostly stuff that I wouldn't miss for a few days. The net result is that my room is looking fairly empty.

It will probably look even more empty afterword. I've seen the room and it's small. My bookshelf will be going in the closet for sure; my dresser will probably stay out just to keep the TV on top of it. As for my desk, it will find its way into the livingroom, which won't be a huge deal. Given the fairly tight quarters, it looks like we'll be spending a fair amount of time out there.

Anyway, I really should get back to work, though there's not a lot left I can pack for now. Maybe I'll go make supper.

Mmm, the last few weeks have been ROUGH, and I'm starting to get tired of that. From time to time my head will get all full of phlegm and I'll be all loopy, and then when that clears up I have no apatite for a few days, and once that's done I break out into a rash of welts that hovers around for a month or so. It happens every year right about now and quite frankly I am OH SO TIRED of it.

Right now is March Break, and I'm already feeling like I could use another, chiefly because Pete's bothering the hell out of me. He whines when I won't play video games with him, and then when I do, he either mocks me about how badly I'm doing or complains about the ways in which I win. Honestly, who ISN'T going to fight a war with tanks when they're available? That would be like diving naked to atlantis when you could have used a submarine. Or using a microwave to melt cheese when you could use the oven. It makes no sense.

I haven't gotten a whole lot of writing done, and this time there is actually a valid reason why. I have been busy as hell. Though work's been slowing down lately, school's been picking up. I've been busy the last couple weeks with Journalism, since we need an article every week, and my Law teacher sets assignments so close together they overlap, so I'm usually scrambling back and forth about those. My other classes throw in their own assignments every now and then, and before I know it I'm swamped.

What time I do have for writing, I'm either not in the mood for creative writing, or working on writing for other people.

Or packing. We're moving next weekend, after all. Still not sure how I feel about that, but I'll be happy to have a bedroom whose floor isn't a hazard. We're still working out what to do with the cats. I want to take Spoof with us at the very least, but everyone else seems fairly complacent to get rid of them. I admit a fur-free household has its merits, but, really, I've grown attached over the years.

If you're looking for me, I'm packing.

Seriously.





















Alright, whatever. Don't listen to me.

I am so very tired right now. School is going great; about the only bright side of the operation, unfortunately. Kat and I are closer than ever, which is good, except that her problems tend to worry me more than they used to. I guess that's good too, but... I'm not much for worrying. I don't like it. Makes me mental. I usually end up doing or saying things that I regret, which just makes me more mental.

In short, every time I worry, something goes terribly wrong.

I can't say why exactly I am worried this time, because it's really her business, not mine. I know it's not really fair of me to worry about it, either, since this isn't the first time it's happened, but she seems to get more than her fair share of bad stuff to deal with, and I'm starting to wonder if I'm really strong enough to deal with that. It's not that I don't want to be, it's just that I'm a worrier and I can't tell a penny from a loonie, right now.

It is late, and I am so very tired. If I sleep until Valentine's Day, I honestly wouldn't care.

Bear with me. Today is a long day and I've got a fair amount of emotional baggage to unpack, so this will probably be a pretty long post once I get around my finger numbness. In fact, I'm anticipating going off on such a rant that I'm going to use LJ cuts to parse it down and to divide it into sections.

( The End of An Era )

( Home Life )

Plans for Sunday, 13 of January, 2007

Morning

1. Get up nice and early. Have a Hot Chocolate with the works.
2. Bathe.
3. Eat, as follows:
1. Zaxtonian Scrambled Eggs (see Recipes File)
2. Toast w/ Margarine/Butter
3. Big glass of juice
4. Clean Room/Get the Laundry on.
5. Town Upkeep on AC:WW.

 

Early Afternoon

1. Lunch, as follows:
1. Boiled Eggs, sliced up and put in
2. Ramen Noodles w/Broth
3. Glass of Milk
4. Apple for Dessert
2. Writing, minimum one hour, non-roleplay
3. Exercise (Probably DDR)
4. “Reflection Time” One Hour

 

Late Afternoon (pre-Supper)

1. Roleplaying time online
2. FFX-2 Time, one mission or one hour, whichever comes first
3. Prepare tomorrow’s lunch, consisting of:
1. Egg Sandwich
2. Whichever apple I didn’t eat at lunch
3. A few boxes of raisins

 

Early Evening (Around Supper)

1. If supper is not being made, make the following.
1. Some of the pasta in the freezer.
2. If there is still a salmon fillet in the freezer, that. If not, MORE eggs.
2. Front Mission 4 time. One mission or one hour, the shortest.
3. Finish the commentary for The Eagle, due Tuesday.
4. Find out why my hot chocolate is being so bitter lately and FIX IT.
5. Bathe Again
6. Free time; Do whatever.
7. Bed by 10:30

I remember when I was little, I saw an episode of The Magic School Bus that took place in a bakery. It was basically all about the science aspect of cooking. Molecular Gastronomy is sort of an extension of that idea. It's the idea that food is something to be looked at scientifically.

Lead by Chefs such as Wylie Dufrense of wd~50 and Grant Achatz of Alinea, "progressive cooking" or molecular gastronomy takes the know how of the chef's world and the know why of the scientist, applying laboratory techniques to the kitchen in order to create dishes that go far beyond what food can normally do. Thinks like shrimp noodles, which are literally noodles of a shrimp paste held together with transglutaminase, a sort of "meat glue" that bonds amino acids together. Agar-agar, more at home as a substrate in a petri dish than your spice rack, creates gels at otherwise impossible temperatures; Achatz's most famous example of that being a sheet of Campari and Beet. We see thinks like ink-jet papers using edible, soy-based ink on rice paper to print pictures of sushi, which are then used to wrap a chilled puree of the fillings of the depicted sushi.

This is of course, very novel, and it's catching on in a big way. Don't get me wrong. It's not dangerous, heck, it's very, very nice stuff sometimes...but it's still just a novelty. Sure, some lessons are here to stay. The Japanese have used Agar-agar since the 15th century. But there are limits. Molecular Gastronomy is doomed because there are times when it is just TOO ridiculous. Consider the mild-mannered grapple.

I am not sure whose bright idea this thing was. I'm not certain how it was done, either, but of the two options I have, one is far more likely, and that is one I do not like. Let me explain. This "grapple" is a commercially available fruit, apparently an apple that tastes like a grape. If it really is just an untreated fruit, than this thing is a GMO fruit and should be eliminated from the food supply immediately. Sure, probably nothing bad will happen from a crossbreed of an apple and a grape, but I'm personally against that sort of thing. If you can't obtain it through a cross breed (hint: You can't.) it shouldn't exist. End of story. I'm not trying to be mean to the poor scientist or botanist or whomever that created this monster, but that's the way I feel. The other possibility is that it was an apple that is somehow infused with grape juice rather than it's own. I can't really say I have a problem with that.

However, I am perhaps a simple man. When I want an apple, I want something crisp, with the clear, sharp taste of an apple. When I want a grape, I want a nice little orb of juice suspended in fruit that I can pop into my mouth like popcorn, devour without worry, with a slightly sour taste that is obviously, well, grape. I do not want apple juice when I am munching on grapes, and I certainly don't want the far weaker grape juice when I am eating an apple. Now, sometimes, I would not be against somehow combining the two, in a cocktail, or, as I said earlier, infusing one with the other. However, when I cook something, or otherwise prepare it, I want it to look like I did something to it. I do not want to reach into my crisper drawer and pull out a grapple instead of an apple. Similarly (to beat a dead horse) I want redder tomatoes. I do NOT want lobster tomatoes. I shouldn't have to worry about serving a garden-fresh ELT sandwich to my kids and having one of them suddenly discover his seafood allergy.

So basically, what I'm saying is this. This Molecular Gastronomy Progressive Cooking McCrap is going to keep going for a while. But once the novelty fades and people realize that they want their gin and tonic to look like gin and tonic, and they want their shrimp ON their noodles, and that strawberries don't really belong in a salsa, they're going to go back to good old-fashioned cooking. Humanity has been perfecting that since they became human.

Sorry to bother you, Mr. Server, sir, but I didn't order National Starch N-Zorbit Tapioca Maltodextrin. Please take this back and have the chef use LIQUID olive oil this time,
Zac

Wow. Hard to believe that 2007 is already over. It seems like only yesterday that Katherine and I had our first dating anniversary, but that was months and months ago; the second is closer than the original. It's almost scary to think of just how suddenly the end of the year crept up on us; it was almost like a sneak-attack! 2007 had it's ups and downs. On the down side, I learned that life can be hard, my mood isn't that well-checked, the things that come easy one minute can be hard the next, and even the intelligent must sometimes bow to the stupid. On the up side, though, I learned that life is precious, that sometimes the simplest pleasures are the most profound, that there is a certain amount of pride to be had in fashion sense, that nothing can get in the way of a well-thought-out plan, and that even the dumbest mistakes can be forgiven.

This past year has seen a lot of changes for me. Outwardly, I'm generally happier. I take more pride in the way I look, the way I act, the way I preform. I'm more open about my hobbies, I let other people's opinion's factor less into my behavior. Inwardly, I feel myself more collected by the day. Thoughts that usually arc wildly from one topic to the next can be set into order. Pattens in events that once eluded me come clear. As 2007 fades into the past and 2008 shines her fresh light onto the world, I stand bravely on the cusp of Adulthood, ready and willing to set to the tasks that rapidly approach.

From my employment, I have learned that even the less fun tasks can be enjoyable when looked at in the right way, and time can move remarkably fast when you want it to. No longer do I run from tasks like Essays and Assignments. These I stand to bravely, I say, "Come. If you quarrel, sir, I am for you."

The downside to that take-charge attitude is that I don't always have time to work on my own projects. Some of them find time to squeeze themselves in, but overall, it is not what I want to get done that always takes priority. I am faced with a steak of some 17 years, from a lazy cow indeed. Now I must trim the fat where I can, and salvage this piece of work into something a top chef would be proud of!

I'm not one to go out and say resolve a million things, but I do have some things I would like to work on.

1. I will gain 10 pounds by June. To do this, I will eat at least one self-cooked meal daily.
   
2. I will spend less time on Fantasia and more time writing.
3. I will set aside at least an hour per day for myself, to use as I please.
4. I will accomplish everything I write down in my agenda book
5. I will strive to reclaim the position of employee of the month.
6. I will master my disorder and make judgments that are suitable.
7. I will finish the first draft of Knife's Edge by Christmas.
8. I will spend more time with Katherine.
9. I will become self-sufficient.
10. I will get my eight hours sleep!
    

Now, I know, all this is pretty time-consuming. I've devised a simple, rough schedule, that should help me get on track. Once I'm in the habit of doing all these things, I won't need such rigid times.

6 AM - Reveille - Shower/Bath, Shaving, all that fun stuff.
6:45 AM - Breakfast - Little to No "Prep Work" where possible.
7:20 AM - Generally out the Door and on the Bus
4 PM - Returning Time - Just got home from school. Play a game or two. Read a book.
5 PM - Studies - Follow up on anything we did during the day that needs finishing, put time into projects
6 PM - Writing Time - Put time into the writing projects, especially Knife's Edge.
7 PM - Physical Development - Exercises with mom or DDR with Pete
8 PM - Mental Development - Pursuit of Philosophical/Spiritual Texts, deep thought, journaling.
9 PM - Next-Day Prep - Make lunch (if packed lunch is needed), start a wash... rest of this slot is "Free Time"
9:45 PM - Retire- Get into bed, deep thought, relaxation techniques, whatever.
10 PM - MP3 player off, lights out.

Now, the beauty of this is that one day I might be able to free up some of that large gap between breakfast and "returning time". Maybe.

For now, all I can do is keep an eye out for what 2008 is going to throw at me.

Well, to start with, the feeding pattern I was trying to start is blown right out of the water. Not that I mind that much right now; I'm certainly eating a lot.

That week I was off work, and I ended up doing a lot of baking for my classes. Everything got done, eventually; with a healthy serving of improvisation. Over all, my count is 147 cookies. After all that baking, I got a fun night off. ^_^

I went home Thursday night, showered, got all nice and fancied up in my new suit (I love that suit) and went to take Kat to the Cabaret. It was a really fun time. We had some coffee (Well, I had Hot Chocolate), went around the mall for a bit, then headed to the party. It was an awesome dance. ^_^ There were so many people there I knew, and all of them were dressed up, and in three hours of music there was only one song I didn't really care for, and I only ran into one drunk guy, which probably had something to do with the fact he wasn't even supposed to be there, since he was in the mall.

All told, it was an amazing night. I looked awesome, Kat looked better that me,  and she taught me how to dance without making me feel like an idiot. I really enjoy dancing now, actually; and I hope the next one is just as good. ^_^

Re: Christmas:
I went to a party on Sunday, at Danielle's. My god, that was a fun day. The Wii is an amazing console; I finally got to play it. Warioware Smooth Moves, actually, which is an excellent game to play in a group, since you only need one controller for all modes. We had a gift exchange; that is to say, since nobody new about it, Danielle and her cousin Kara gave us all stuff. I got a nice bag of candy in a mug from Kara,  and a somewhat cheesy but none-the-less desirable apron. ^_^ I'm not telling you what Kat gave me. Its a secret. ^_^

Yesterday, on Christmas Eve, I got DDR SuperNOVA2 from my brother. Truly awesome game. I was pleasantly surprised by some of the North American music that is in it. Songs like Temperature from Sean Paul, which are incidentally very good to dance to in real life. A fun game, and I've noticed I was hungrier since I've been playing it. That's always a good thing.

Today, oh boy, today was amazing. I got a nice cook book from Aunt John, which can replace by BHCOUA, a really snookum knife set from mom and dad (along with a nice serving dish,  a cereal container, and several storage tins), money from Nana and Papa, sweets from Nanny, and a wide array of other sweet-ass things. We had cheese and meats and crackers for breakfast, Caesar Salad and Rappi Pie for lunch, and I've just generally been gorging/grazing all day. I played some more DDR. I'm only in the third area on Hyper Master Mode, but the Arcade Mode has soaked up a lot more of my time, since I like to dance to Temperature, Volcano, and Angelus.

Re: Computers:
A lot of the stuff I did to Tsubasa caused problems, so I rolled him back to the way he was a couple of weeks ago and ran some scans to clear up any lasting damage. I also uninstalled EQ, since I never play it and 10 gigs is a lot of wasted space.

Maybe it's just because I was a premature baby, or maybe it's because my tendency towards grain foods and fruits over other foods has become a habit since I was really little, and has consistently been robbing me of proteins and other such nutrients, but I've always been on the underweight side, sometimes alarmingly so. I'll never forget the time I was compared to a "starving Ethiopian kid" while changing for Gym Class (ooh, I hate that class), or, more recently, a crackbaby (because of my shallow face). Really, though, none of this bothered me enough to really do something about it.

But right now I'm in an interesting situation. I've got two things everyone needs to change themselves: Motivation and Proof of Concept. My motivation, as it is for many things, is the lovely and talented Kat MacEwen of Meowkie-Chan's Scoop over on Blogspot, who, for obvious reasons, has seen me often enough without baggy coats and some of my other tricks (to hide the extent of my lightness) to know my instance well and be uncomfortable with it, who is more than happy to push me in the right direction.

I also have my mother, who recently (well, gradually over the last two years) dramatically altered her BMI, shape, and habits, to the point of being nigh-unrecognizable in some photos. She made a lifestyle change that directly altered itself into her physical reality, and had the dedication and strength of will to stick to it long enough to make things worth.

Now, I have the opposite problem of what most people do. Most people are trying to lose weight, but what I am learning over time is that many of the same techniques are mandated in such endeavors. For instance, I must make a dietary adjustment. The most primary, of course, would be actually eating lunch, as despite talks of bentos and such things, I am notoriously lazy and, when I'm not manic (ie, when I am tending towards depression), hard to tempt to feed at all. This is compounded by my need to satisfy cravings, which often means that, for example, I won't eat a piece of fruit if I want an orange and all we have is apples. For the portions I eat, they are fairly balanced, especially when I make everything myself and I therefore am actually "hungry" for everything that is up for the eating. I could stand to take more liquids, and eat more food, but, again, this is almost directly connected to lunch. This could be added motive to get a proper amount of sleep (a hard thing to do after 3 years on a different schedule) but, if going to bed at 10:30 and waking up at 6:00 means I can make my own lunch and not mooch off Kat any more, then I'd be a happy man, weight gain or no.

Another key to getting appitized, period, would be exercise. I get plenty at work, when I work, and more than one person has commented that my tragically thin arms have filled out somewhat with muscle thanks to the heavy lifting. The problem is, work is intermittent, and having a shift doesn't mean I'll be lifting anything at all. Also, a lot of the stuff I lift at work doesn't feel heavy at all any more, which means that I'm not getting as much benefit, right? Especially when it's only a rep or two per day....

As an added benefit to the actual mass from added muscle, the work load would increase my appitite and aid some of the sleep problems, if not suck time from other activities. As much as I like gaming (and I partake in that indulgence often), I don't really need to spend every waking moment at it, and most of the time I consider "gaming" is bumming around the internet, looking for something to do. That said, some games, like my beloved DDR, count as exercise (actually, DDR is quite a good Cardio workout, as anyone who owns a home version will tell you), and I'll likely sleep better too.

Despite the initial discomfort, I'll feel happier when Kat can hug me without flinching, and happier, more energetic, stronger Zac's experience more manic, and ergo feel more like writing, cooking, exercising, and generally becoming happier, more energetic, and stronger.

I think with some encouragement and even a nudge or two from key people, in addition to my own will-power (which needs improving), I can make this work. I don't even need to gain a lot, really. Ten pounds, that's all.

That said, I haven't really gained more than that in three years, and I have good reason to believe every gram of that was bone mass.

Who's ready to gain some weight?!

The largest known prime number. Indeed.

Just an update: Tsubasa is, with the exception of Visual Styles, finally back up to his full pre-crash performance variables. Now I'm just waiting for some down time in which to remove the 10.0 GB space-waste that was Everquest II.

Also: Storm is not good, so I'm banking somewhat on doing data entry over at King Mazda tomorrow, depending on the status of school, and just how willing I am to get up that early in the morning. I do have a fair chunk of things to do, so perhaps adding to it is a bad idea.

The project I started last weekend is going well. That is to say; the writing meme for Deviantart is finished, and has been for several days, it's merely waiting for me to decide that "it isn't getting any better" so that I can post it. I might just post it as a scrap and link it through the journal. We'll see.

It's snowing pretty hard today, for those of you who don't live in the area, and that's pretty much got me against doing anything else tonight. It was a long day at work, partly because it was my last one for at least a week, and partly also because it was insanely busy for a Sunday. I'm tired, cranky, and I smell a little funny.

Sure, there's lots of things I should be doing. I should be making the first batch of treats for school. I should be playing that level of Front Mission 4 I'm stuck on before I get stuck mentally and don't play it for months. I should clean my room, or do laundry, or take a bath. I should work out. I should eat more than this bowl of cold soup, and I should probably start the wheels spinning on the essay that's due in January.

All I really want to do is sit here for a bit. And so I shall.

Directions: Go through your journal and post the first sentence from the first entry of each month of the past year.

January:  Was still at the OTHER blog.

February: Alright, if you guys are here, that means I did my coding right at the other spots, and you walked through the web over to the new account.

March: Well, it has certainly been a while, and with good reason.

April: Well, I've been really busy the last few weeks.

May: Supervisor (R2) - Experience workers, these workers, elite by human standards, are still pretty much a dime a dozen.

June: Not just with work.

July: Since the official start of summer vacation, I have had 5 days off.

August: It is worthwhile to note that yesterday, being the first day I worked after two highly-deserved days of rest, I was rewarded for the previous 13 straight shifts by an announcement that I, in collaboration with over-manager Danny and training instructor Amy, achieved a remarkable and well-deserved set of perfect marks on an examination by a "Mystery Shopper".

September: I got a new tamagotchi today, specs below.

October: For those of you who read the review of Ender's Game that was last posted here, I've been forced to pull it as it turned out to be useful as a school assignment.

November: Poking around on the interwebs today I noticed that I haven't posted here for nearly a month, so I figured I should pop on by and say hello.

December: Today has been declared the first snow day of the 2007-2008 season, so brought to you by the forces of annoyance, reflection, boredom and sloth is yet another long, pointless self-argument.

S you can see, Things have gone downhill since February. Mind you, Kat has gone very, very up hill, so I'm willing to trade that. ^_^

To begin, I will freely admit that I am not a biologist, a theologian, a doctor of anything or even a high-school graduate. I am, however, an advanced chemistry student and, in the words of my instructor, a leader within the school on the subject of organic chemistry. For those who are not familiar, organic chemistry forms the basis of molecular biology, which in turn states that life is, in basest terms, a chemical reaction, and nothing more.

Consider this: chemical reactions occur because of random collisions between atoms and molecules. These collisions must have sufficient force to break the existing bonds, merely containing the correct components is not enough. This is no boundary for simple chemicals like HBr, who, despite the advanced reaction it has, triggers a set of intermediate reaction mechanisms. However, consider Deoxyribonucleic Acid (DNA). This is an exceeding complex molecule. DNA consists of other chemicals which bonded together in a very specific order in order to create a coherent and complex system, with a very unique yet ordered structure that is similar in all forms of life. It consists of four smaller chemicals bonding to an organic frame, and in various biological mechanisms, constructs proteins which are themselves the building blocks of life. The odds against such a stunning example of chemical engineering happening at random are astronomical.

The basis of DNA are called nitrogen bases, namely, Adenine, Cytosine, Guanine and Thymine. This in turn bond with deoxyribose, a combination of simple sugar and phosphate groups, in order to form the familiar double-helical structure. A single chromosome consists of hundreds of these pairs; Chromosome 1 of the human body consists of 220 pairs of the bases. That's a lot of things to be randomly colliding; and there's a lot of energy involved.

So, let's recap. Random collisions between atoms and molecules form the nitrogen bases Adenine, Cytosine, Guanine and Thymine, which in turn bond to simple sugars, which in turn bond to phosphate groups. This forms DNA in its full, compact, always perfect glory. Even if Adenine only bonds to Thymine, and Cytosine only bonds to Guanine, the odds of these being present all together at some point on earth, predating the beginning of life, the odds of them striking together to form a coherent DNA strand before being torn apart by other reactions or environmental factors like radiation or heat are very slight.

Stepping back from the probability of DNA, consider the following. It is the pattern required to bond other chemicals required and form a living organism through cellular reproduction. However, DNA is unusual. Certain sequences in DNA always code for the same thing, and the bases Adenine, Cytosine, Guanine, and Thymine (Uracil in RNA) are the building blocks of every known life-form's DNA. Universally. Consider, as an analogue, binary code in computers. The "bases" of computer code are 0 and 1. These bases form larger codes that can be expressed in better ways (BASIC being a well-known example) which tell the computer how to function, much like how DNA codes for the construction of an organism. Isn't that convenient?

Too convenient. This sheer improbability of happenstance raises eyebrows. It is so unlikely for all needed events to occur in sequence and with the needed timing that earth is, to date, the only known planet which sustains life. To the best of my research, there is no complete theory that explains how such things could occur spontaneously, although, as stated, it is possible to do such things in a lab.

I am therefore led to conclude that an outside force acted upon the formation of life. We were "Created", though, not being a theologian, I am not in a position to say what did the creating. I'm also inclined to lead that whatever the outside force was was intelligent, because it was able to create a universal system that all forms of life known recognize and are based on. I am NOT claiming verification of any existing spiritual text, nor am I claiming that all forms of life were created at once. I am only claiming that DNA was a construct of an outside source, and all that is truly required by my claims was for an outside force,  outside of existing life, chemistry and Physics, to create a single-celled organism. My theory does not extend past the first organism. It might have been a zebra or an algae, it might have evolved into all the other life on earth, but none of that interests me in the slightest. I simply cannot prove evolution with mere reasoning.

Today has been declared the first snow day of the 2007-2008 season, so brought to you by the forces of annoyance, reflection, boredom and sloth is yet another long, pointless self-argument.

A recent television documentary posed the question of whether or not video games can make us cry. I said yes, but I have a myriad of reasons for doing so. Skies of Arcadia was a great game, an excellent RPG, by far one of the most addicting games I've played in my lifetime, but the ending sucked. Like, really sucked. "I mourned for the creativity of the programers" suckage. That's a lot of suction.

Games can make us cry through profound storyline. The ending of Earthbound, for example, was so incredibly profound that I am not the only one who cried during it.

There is one other way games can make us cry, and that is sheer force of stupidity. Why, this very morning, I booted up Harvest Moon DS, and up popped the message "Save Data Corrupted, Deleting...". OH BOY that pissed me off. Yeah, I wasn't even a full month of game-time into it (about four hours, by my estimates), and yeah, it's not hard to get there again, but there is nothing I hate more than having to rehash stuff. I think that's why I never got as far as I did in FFVII again after the save file got corrupted and "vanished"; there are some parts of the game that are just so tedious and annoying that they aren't even remotely worth doing again. Like FM3. Even if I got a legal copy of it that would run on my PS2, or got another PSX emulator to run the image I have, I doubt I would play it, because I was finished one storyline and very far in another, and now that I've lost all that progress for the umpteenth time, it is not worth it in even the slightest way.

...

I like winter, albeit at a distance. I like the imagery, the occasional unplanned day off, the feasts and traditions associated with it. I like that it, more than any other season, seems to bring out the best in people... individually. As a group, that's another matter, but since I am not a sociologist and never intend to be, I'll stay out of it.

Most of what I like about winter is the food. Egg Nog, sweets, turkeys and hams, real mashed potatoes (not that boxed crap), punches, fruits. That's always been a paradox of winter, really. Winter in the past has always been this cold, sterile season, where little grows and you have to survive on whatever you managed to preserve in summertime. Mandarin Oranges (which I have written a poem on), Chinese pears (DELICIOUS!), apples... for some reason, there is never a shortage of fruit around this time of year.

There's one food in particular that I always want in the depths of Christmastime bit haven't had in nearly half a decade. A peculiar frozen yogurt, Chocolate Amaretto Swirl. I love amaretto. I use extract of it in my hot chocolate, when I feel like spending the four bucks to get a cup of it. That ice cream MEANS Christmas to me. It really does.

I have discovered the plague of the renaissance man, and for someone who most definitely is not one, the effects are devastating. I have two chief hobbies; writing and cooking. Writing takes time, as does the other, and both require research to further and that takes time as well. Which is all well and good, except both require an education. The education takes time, sometimes an exorbitant amount thereof. The teachers usually try to set about a half hour of study every day (or tell us to do a half-hour's review if they don't set an assignment), and the assignments quite often take longer than that. Factor in the multiplicity of classes and you wind up with two and a half hours of homework per schoolday. In my position, school essentially ends at four, when I get home by bus (regardless of the many buses I could take, I always get home at about the same time), and I typically retire at eleven, which leaves me with seven hours of time. Taking away two and a half leaves me with four and the same. Factor in bathing, eating, and other little tasks, and that's three and a half. Considering I have to do all those tasks before nine, and I am not allowed to cook after that hour, that leaves me with only and hour and a half to cook, which, all told, is hardly anything. Plus, I really can't cook for the sake of cooking, so I have to be hungry within that timeframe, and given that I have eaten supper already, that is really out of the question. Cooking is therefore on the back burner (pun intended) until the weekend. Writing, on the other hand, is a relatively easy pursuit to fit into that time, but it takes so long to do the little pieces that I use to maintain my friend's interest in my writing that I never have time (or motivation, given time) to work on the main pieces. That then, is also out until the weekends.

Take a step backward, and you'll realize I forgot something. Cooking requires materials and that is an expense. Writing required Tsubasa, which, though now paid, was a considerable expense. The education to do both is a very large expense, and suddenly I find that even with all the reserves I have behind me (Mom, Dad, and Grandma) that if I am to have money to pursue hobbies, I need work. Work is something I have. I'm paid by the hour, and hours are units of time.

On the average week, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I don't work, but I have the roughly nine-hour school day (factoring in transportation), and assuming I want eight hours of sleep, I have roughly seven hours of free time, which sounds like a lot, but really isn't, given the little incidences that waste time in any given day. These seven hours have to suffice for all my daily tasks, which I approximate at about three hours and leaves me with only three hours for hobby pursuits, and at any given time, only about half of one of those hours is eligible for cooking. Typically I work from after school until ten at night on Thursday and Friday, which leaves me with one hour for hobbies that I am typically to tired to use, especially on the Friday, where, until recently, I had to be up in about eight hours in order to make it to work on time for the next morning. These days, however, I more typically work five hours on Saturday, in the afternoon, which leaves some time in the breakfast for cooking and a fair chunk for writing and cooking in the afternoon. Sunday is often a free-for all as well, but I typically spend an hour cleaning my room on top of other tasks that I must do.

Much of the time that remains given all these valid distractions are time wasters. Video games play a large role, pretty much entirely dominating the wasted time. Which isn't to say I find these games a waste of time, as they are a very welcome distraction from when I am closer to depressed than manic, when I never feel like doing anything else anyway. The problem is, a lot of them are addictive and overall distracting. I've had to start locking my DS in my locker during actual classes so that I can pay proper attention, or else I am distracted even when I'm not playing it. Iron Chef, well amusing, has been soaking up increasingly large amounts of my time, and my idea of writing little short stories for everyone to read on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday is soaking up the rest of the time. Right now, I'm writing this rather than forcing myself to write today's piece, which was a good idea that was simply poorly thought through, as both characters that are supposed to spar are incredibly flat "NPC"s.

I just spent a half hour writing someting, and I totally forgot where I was going with it. Way to go, brain.

I meant to talk about this sooner, but I actually got sent home at eleven on Saturday, totally circumventing my fear that it was going to be too busy to handle that day. I spent most of the time slacking off at home, but I completely forgot that Kat and I had plans for the evening, so she was a little miffed at me for that. Sorry hun!

Anyway, this week has gone pretty good so far. We ended up ordering a cheaper pack of photos than we had planned, which saved us money that we kind of mooched in the first place. I thought I lost my calculator today, but I just found it in the pocket of my bookbag it is always in. Heh. I'm a doofus.

I'm back on Fantasia, chiefly because the site was dying anyway and all the people that bug me have left, leaving it for me and a handful of good, solid people to rebuild. Also, Aredjay graciously gave me a bunch of power I probably shouldn't have. I sent out a bulk email a little while ago to all members, asking for people to return because we want to make the third year of Fantasia the best one yet! It's hard to believe that it's only been three years, though, but I can't complain. I wrote to Purple Azulor personally, asking a bunch of friendly questions. We all really miss him.

Speaking of letters, Chris Beskow, my German Class's particular friend, emailed us again, and I just got done translating the letter. It was pretty cool.

I've got a big day ahead of me, and it looks like between it and school, my weekend is now shot to hell.

Tomorrow is the uptown rendition of the Christmas Parade (why we're having it in November is anyone's guess) and, since I work uptown, that means we're going to be busy. I just pulled a shift that ended at ten and I have to be up and at work by eight for an eight-hour shift, so I'll likely be hitting the hay when I'm done with this. Now, I've worked many different kinds of shifts and stints in the eight months or so that I've worked here, but this has me on edge, for a plethora of reasons.

Firstly, I haven't worked an eight-hour since summertime. It is now November. That means I haven't worked a shift that long in at least three months, maybe more. Second, we're expecting it to be so busy, we're taking extra measures to keep up. This hasn't happened since I've worked there. Ever.

What kind of extra measures? We're going to have all five tills open, simultaneously, for most of the day. This doesn't happen, period. Usually, at lunch on a weekday, the most we run is three. We're also having every single person that works for us in that day, if not all at the same time. Usually, this doesn't happen. We doubled up the stock list to the point where we have no room for the cleaning equipment to stay in the inner stockroom any more, in order to make less trips to the outer stockrooms. We had to put the equipment in the office, which is close quarters as it is.

To make things worse, not everything is working the way it should. The grill is only half-cooking the back row of food, so everything that gets cooked that far back (which isn't really a lot) needs to be moved back up and manually flipped and grilled, which takes extra time. The shake machine, even with its new parts, is always hit and miss on whether or not it is working, and Archie (the thing that fills up the baskets with fries to put in the vats in order to save us time) has been out of commish for a few days and doesn't look like it will be repaired until mid-December. So, not only is it going to be the busiest it has been in almost a year, we're going to be slower than usual.

In fact, we're expecting it to be so busy tomorrow, I'm told some of the managers that usually stay in the office are going to run the floor so that Danny and the gang can focus on helping us grunts. Which always makes me nervous, having them around.

... It'll be a miracle if I sleep at all, tonight.

It has occurred to me that I have never properly introduced or set out the pieces of work to which I refer on this website. I just assumed that everyone who read this would be fully familliar, but as my reader-base expands and more and more of my friends stumble onto this website, I find that an explanation is required.

Knife's Edge is (intended to be) a full length novel following the life of one of my main characters, Locke LeCruset. Locke grows up in a family which comes from a culture of female superiority (sort of reverse-chauvinism) and follows his conflicts both with women in general and with the darker aspects of his character. Because Locke is such a keystone character, this storyline at times crosses over others. The first draft is incomplete, and I estimate it to be about a quarter of the way there.

Vita Vitalis, a story set in 2004, follows the school year through the eyes of three characters: Yagami von Dampf, Lukav Mineav, and James Derrida. Over the run of the school year, strange events draw the attention of the three characters to each other. Yagami and Lukav, agents working for the government, are tasked with investigating the disturbances. A web of deceit and violence emerges that entangles the LeCruset Family, the High Seas Crime Syndicate, and the College of Judges. In its first draft, the story featured large portions of Locke's perspective, which have been phased out and into Knife's Edge. The story is one of loves gained and loves lost, trials by fire, and the greed of control. The first draft was published on Final Fantasia during my time there, and the second is in development.

Touching on Vita Vitalis is Integer, a (long) short story that is in its entirety a dream that recurs to James during the 2004 school year. It speaks of "love blooming, even on a battlefield", deceit, the abuses of science and the horrors of war. Too short to stand alone, the first draft was published on Final Fantasia. A second draft is being created, possibly as a supplemental appendix to Vita Vitalis.

Survival (working title) is a short story, written in two separate portions and to be combined upon its completion. The first part centers on the experiences of the protagonist, Nathan til Hendryx, a Nekoso with an unusually human frame of mind, as he attempts to escape the aftermath of the Christmas War in late 2005. The second part is the Christmas War itself, told by key members of the Zaxton Self Defense Forces and the College of Judges. Notworthy characters are: Fube LeCruset, Asmodeus "McKim" Kenshima, the Universe Twins and Great Justice David Adam. This second part is intended to be broken up into small portions, placed at the beginning and end of each chapter of Hendryx's ordeal.

Worthy of Justice is a short novella focusing on a series of trials following the Guy Fawkes Incident, centering around the actions of defense lawyer Michael Scumworthy. Scumworthy is the descendant of a long line of famous lawyers that dates back to the inception of the College of Judges. He is famous, both for his own skill and the fact that the Scumworthy Family has never, in almost two-hundred years of mitigation, suffered a defeat. Touching on the lives of the suspects in the Guy Fawkes Incident, it follows aspects of their involvement as well as Michael's quest for the office of Lord High Attorney, a cushy governmental position that is the supreme recognition of his might.

This is preceded, or followed, depending on your perspective, by Worthy of the Legends. It follows the first Scumworthy Lawyer, Leonard, through his involvement in the Legalization (a revolution that disposed the previous Königreich of Zaxton), and his involvement in the fledgling College of Judges. It is intended on a commentary on politics, social responsibility and Birthright versus Talent. Set in the Victorian Era, it has a somewhat steampunk flavour as the technology of the time is stretched to the bounds of reasonable imagination.

Lastly in this sample, Ghost Fencer is a remarkably standalone piece designed to showcase the life of Edward Coultier. It's a tail of honour, magic, steel, trechery and a little bit of lust. Interestingly, its probably the most talked-about of my projects, but I never seem to  work on it.

Well, I'm sure you know already, but its November. Those of you living on the Texas Triffid Ranch might not know it, but November is what we Canadians call the "Condensation" Month. It is called condensation month because during November it rains pure nitrogen and occasionally even snows Dry Ice.

Now, admittedly, that's hyperbole, but I have a point, a very definite point and a valid point. It is freaking COLD in November, and as someone whose lived in an Alpine area and a maritime area that it is colder near the ocean. And with sixteen of them under my belt I can assure you that winter only gets worse from November. The Oxygen lake should boil back off in February and then we get to go to Fusion Month in June and July where everything exists in liquid state if it was a solid to begin with.

I have very little Entropy. I would much rather be warmer than colder.

And being colder is making me cranky. Keeping my temperature at what I consider to be an acceptable value (I am highly chemical and I like STP; 22 degrees Celsius at 1 "atmosphere" of pressure.) is a challenge given all the emissions and money involved. I agree on that point, there are times where having the heat on isn't really necessary, but COME ON. When you're waking up in the morning, 15 is just as bad as ambient; you're still numb and its still warmer in bed.

Now, I'm sorry if all my rants seem to be about the folks, but between the never running everything and using clotheslines in doors,  I'm sure we can afford to be warm. This is not to be all high and mighty, but, being one of a disposition that is best kept in a warm location to prevent spoilage I can freely say that looking good comes a second (a close second) to comfort and that there's no way those very nice looking high heeled knee-boots are comfortable. And before the person who I am addressing confronts me I have this to say. I freely spend my money on useless extravagances as well. I don't challenge your choices. I just like to be warm, and, well, until I grad and get college I'm a dependent.

If psychology is the science it claims to be, then there are independent and dependent variables involved in every experiment. In this case, I cannot control my disposition, it is the dependent variable. That said, I can control the temperature and, to a lesser extent, my general comfort.

... What I'm trying to say is that I've been cranky lately, and the return of the winter months are one of several contributing factors to my mood. Naturally, I'd rather not be cranky, so I'm doing what I can to get by.

There's lots of stress going on in my life right now. I've got college to plan for, presents to buy, a cash flow problem and managers that are just as hypocritical as I am. I wish I had more time to write about it by I'm also having a negative weight-flow problem, contributed by the fact that I spend all my time writing crap that means NOTHING because I'm too blocked to work on the real stuff, the alternate fact that I'm lazy and the usual impetus of "If it ain't broke don't fix it".

Well, much thanks for listening to me my friends, but now that I've yelled myself into a good depression, its time to get to work.